My Not-So-Bloody Valentine
by idjitsandassbutts
Summary: Cas and Dean decide to spend Valentine's Day together... in a totally platonic, non-romantic way. At least, that's what they tell themselves.


"I just need to get some air," Dean said as he turned away from the angel, made his way around the stairs, and walked through the basement door to the outside.

The night, rather than being cool or calming, seemed to suffocate him. Lucifer was somewhere out there in the blackness, and here Dean was, stuck waiting for Sam to detox from the massive amounts of demon blood he had consumed the night before. The way Lucifer's skull had swallowed the injury from the Colt still haunted Dean's mind. The gun had proved foolproof up until then, the only surefire way of killing every evil son of a bitch out there. And it didn't work on the one enemy who needed to be killed above all others.

How was he supposed to stop the apocalypse with a man who could no longer walk, an angel whose power had been severely diminished, and a brother who couldn't control his bloodlust around demons? And speaking of the angel, what the hell was he going to do about Cas? That was another matter entirely. Something inside of him clawed at his insides whenever he so much as thought about Cas, made the world blur for just a split second. Valentine's Day. What had Sam said? "It's when a dog doesn't eat. That's when you know something's really wrong."

Yeah, something was very wrong, Dean thought. Just nothing anyone else would guess, nothing he even wanted to admit to himself. Hell, friggin' Famine hadn't even been able to see what it was Dean truly craved. The horseman saw a black pit of nothing inside of Dean. But he was blind to the truth. Dean had not even attempted to bury his greatest desire. He was simply hyperaware of the hopelessness of it, of the fact that Cas would never feel what Dean felt, and so he had gained immunity from the nefarious charms of the horseman. The hopelessness had charred his spirit. He and Cas would never be able to have a healthy relationship even if the feelings were mutual. No, this little situation was on a whole new level of doomed - Dean had already beaten himself up enough times over his kickstarting of the apocalypse, and now this? But Cas existed, and that was enough to keep Dean from spiraling into insanity. So far.

He looked up at the sky, searching for a sign, anything that would indicate that all was not lost. Anything that could assure him that God was about to step in and save the world. "Please," he whispered, his voice disappearing in the middle of the word as tears rose in his eyes, gleaming in the moonlight. "I can't-" he whispered. "I need some help. Please."

Nothing.

Which is what he expected. But it still hurt.

"Dean," said a low, gritty voice from behind him.

"I thought I said I needed some air, Cas," Dean responded, doing his best to talk past the lump in his throat. He took a sip of beer, hoping the bitter liquid would help break it up.

"You did. But I don't see how my presence here is preventing you from doing so."

"I just-" he started. "Cas. Please," he said. The lump was stubborn. It fought back. Tears rose once again, stronger and more acidic than ever. Dean still did not turn to face the angel.

"Are you crying?"

"No. Yes, dammit. I'm friggin' crying. You know why? Because the goddamn apocalypse is happening _right_ _now_ and we haven't been able to do a thing to stop it. And as if that weren't enough, I can't friggin' stop-" he paused. Had he already revealed too much? He thought not. Cas wouldn't know Dean was about to reveal what his newfound feelings for the angel were. Although, for all he knew, Cas was peering into his thoughts this very second.

"You and Sam stopped two of the four horsemen. That's not nothing. And you can't stop what?"

"Never mind."

"Don't be upset, Dean. It's Valentine's Day. You're supposed to be happy then, correct?"

"Valentine's Day was yesterday, Cas."

"Oh. I should have mentioned. Being that it turned out as unpleasantly as it did, I figured the holiday could be postponed until today. I told the cherub we met to bring some of his brothers and stay around today to bring some joy and comfort to those affected by Famine's deeds. Those still alive, anyway."

"You extended Valentine's Day," said Dean incredulously. A slight smile ghosted across his lips.

"Yes. Is there a problem with that?"

"No... it's just. If you did that a couple years ago when I still called Valentine's Day "unattended drifter Christmas" I probably would have hugged you right about now."

"You can still hug me, Dean."

Hug. Castiel. He had had really just said that. Castiel had actually invited Dean to hug him. Warm body against warm body, arms wrapped around each other for one glorious moment. A choked noise escaped from Dean's mouth. "Uh... okay, Cas. Okay. Why?"

"People do it to show affection and comfort each other, don't they? Or am I mistaken?"

"No... you're not "mistaken." You're- ah, whatever."

He told himself Cas had asked out of kindness, platonically, just a show of friendship. Cas was learning more about modern human customs, after all. He'd probably just seen people hugging on the street and decided he wanted to try it out for himself.

Dean moved toward the angel, these thoughts still ringing in his mind. They were so loud he almost walked right into Cas, distracted by the cadence of his heartbeat. He smiled tightly, lines pushing out from the corners of his eyes, and extended his arms as Cas did. One arm above, one below. Cas's warmth pressed against Dean's body, Dean squeezing the angel closer. A few short pieces of Cas's hair brushed against his cheek, soft and bristly at the same time. Dean closed his eyes, deciding not to pull away just yet. Cas probably wouldn't mind, and Dean had forgotten how good hugs could feel.

Of course, he had never hugged a man he felt this way about before.

Truthfully, he'd never felt this way about a man before, period.

A few moments later and the two stepped back from each other.

"That was enjoyable, Dean. I think I like hugs."

"Yeah, um, glad you think so," said the hunter, taking a gulp of air. "Hey, Cas? It's Valentine's Day again, right? We should, uh, take advantage of it. How do you feel about heading to a bar right now?"

"I assumed you would ask. You need your strength. What about Sam?"

"I'll just let Bobby know to watch out for him. Besides, Sammy's not going anywhere this time. Now that you're not getting orders to bust him out."

The angel was silent, his face emotionless. He stared into Dean's eyes in the way that was uniquely Cas's - as if he was reading your mind, judging you, and making you regret whatever it was you just said all at the same time.

"Okay, well, anyway, what do you say?" asked Dean, averting his eyes from Castiel's piercing stare.

"Fine. But no more dens of iniquity, please," said Cas. The corners of his mouth were turned up in just the barest shadow of a smile.

"Yeah, no dens of iniquity," replied Dean, using Cas's term, eyes bright with barely-concealed emotion as he grinned radiantly. He and Cas were going to a bar together. On Valentine's Day. Or... sort of. So this was more or less a date. Close enough, thought Dean.


End file.
